If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say….

Since becoming a serious member of the Blogosphere through participating in my own site, writing for Gender Across Borders and The Huffington Post, I’ve adopted one simple etiquette policy: if you don’t have anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Although it is evident through some of the nasty comments I’ve gotten (though few and far between) and through reading the comments on other popular websites, many people don’t fly by this rule, and prefer to spew vile and hide behind the anonymity that the World Wide Web often provides.

Although I apply this rule to my internet comings and goings, there is no doubt in my mind that most of us first heard the phrase, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all from our mothers or some other parental figure during a time where the phrase was to be applied to everyday life before the internet existed. There are many reasons why this is a good policy. Many of those reasons includes common courtesy, being a nice person, and otherwise overlooking another’s indiscretions and personal failures in favor of letting karma work it all out for you. Another reason is because when you say something mean or nasty with intent to harm, it sometimes comes back and bites you in the butt, or as Donald Trump recently demonstrated, it sometimes comes back and bites you in the butt before you can even formulate the words, “Your Fired.”

Donald Trump’s recent attack on President Obama demonstrated the classless disrespect and political power plays that one will exert for a little camera time. Although it is still debatable whether or not Trump planned on running for the highest office in the country, we will never know for sure, as his chance of maintaining any sort of integrity as an opponent went out the window the first time he channeled the talking points of the great birther movement. I remember it clearly, I was watching The View one morning, just starting to come to after drinking my morning java and Trump began to talk about the policies that he felt needed change. In the beginning some of his ideas sounded well thought out and even good. He questioned why we spend all our money policing the world and protecting other countries while never getting a dime in return. Yes, that was a good point, considering the recent “budget crisis.” However, as soon as he began to rant about the whereabouts of President Obama’s birth certificate, I vicariously had a cow with Whoopee Goldberg, as she began to fume in astonishment of his brazenly unwarranted statement.

Trump continued his tirade by going on any national television program that would have him. In many of the interviews, he rudely shouted over and berated the interviewers to get his points across. He used all the most common bully tactics to silence them. I was in shock after watching how some of the interviewers handled him, but understand that when entering into a situation with another person such as a public interview, no one ever expects to be confronted with a maniac.

In the last week much has unfolded, President Obama revealed his birth certificate which was the first instance in a subsequent chain of events in which Trump got trumped. Then there was the White House Correspondent’s Dinner that followed a few days later. It is reported that as Trump walked into the building he was met by a chorus of “Boos.” It didn’t stop there. As The President and SNL’s Seth Meyers demonstrated, Trump soon became the brunt of that evening’s jokes. The President and Meyers collectively spoke for a half hour, though I doubt it was painful for Trump, as I’m sure he loves any kind of attention, good or bad. Last night, Obama completely slam dunked Trump and all the other “haters” of the world, when he captured the #1 Wanted Terrorist, Osama Bin Laden.

The point I wish to make today is of course, those who don’t have anything nice to say and still speak typically fall into the same category of “haters” to that of which Donald Trump belongs. Before President Obama was elected, he presented the country with his ideology for change, an ideology that has not been completely enacted in his first two years in office. Many have criticized him for this slow pace; for not bringing change overnight. Last night Obama demonstrated what it means to have a vision. A vision is something that a person can see and feel within their being. It is something that is bigger than us, and it is something that cannot be procured overnight no matter how much power and resources a person has. It is however, something that will unfold and develop over time if an individual stays true to their vision, if a person mercilessly keeps their eyes on the prize regardless of how much opposition they face from haters.

The thing about haters is that they are, as a group, insecure people, people who have a hard time being happy and appreciating what they have already accomplished in life. Rather than continuing to work on themselves as a person, to work towards accomplishing more, they prefer to sit from their throne of arrogance and tear other people down. Haters are not stupid people; they are as cunning as the “fox on Donald Trump’s head.”

It seems that as haters begin to lose their battle against progress, their battle against keeping a person of visions down; they bark louder. A hater can sense when they are not getting anywhere in their ill pursuit of fame and mire. It seems to dawn on them, though slowly, that their words and actions, no matter how vindicated, fail to trip or even budge a person of vision who is securely progressing towards their desired outcome.

It also seems the more the odds are with a person of vision, the more goodness this person’s vision will bring to the world as a whole, the more the hater tries to derail them. They are the spoiled child who does not want anyone to have a good time if they cannot get what they want how and when they want it. This is the same spoiled brat, the one we have all know of, who one day, as an adult, backs himself into a corner that even his indulgent parents cannot get him out of.

In the past week we lived through a parable about the importance of keeping faith in a cause, and about good versus “evil.” This past week, many lessons unfolded right before our eyes on our television sets. This past week, Donald Trump likely got more press than he ever wanted, this past week, we watched one of the most remarkable men ever to rise to the seat of US President accomplish what the both of the two-term Presidents before him weren’t able to accomplish within his first two years of being sworn in as President of the United States.

Most people who try to make progress in their lives and the lives of others run into “haters” from time to time. The words and actions of haters can be very hurtful and disheartening, especially when people you thought to be your allies turn on you and try to keep your progress stagnant. Although unkind words should never delay or prevent a person in their pursuit of greatness, it still hurts. I know this first hand, and often, a friend cheers me up with a common phrase whose etymology belongs to rap music:

“Hater’s gonna hate.”

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One Response to If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say….

  1. Stan says:

    Excellent piece… right on the money!

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